To what point should one go, for doing the right thing?

http://www.sunniforum.com/forum/showpost.php?p=2645&postcount=1

You might have to join in order to view it but it is real important.

Please pay particularly attention to the section in where it states;


the exceptional part.

that's the one we should remember.

and abuse is not a fault, nor a mistake, so this is something we should not cover up.
abuse is not the same as someone fornicating, or not lowering their gaze
abuse is considered a "crime" which the person has to be held accountable for, which has to warned to people so they too don't fall victimized to that, and that person has to ask for forgiveness, and apology.


It is better the person ask for forgiveness in this life, rather on the Day of Judgment begging for mercy and forgiveness because Allah will not be merciful and forgiving to anyone that does not ask for forgiveness and mercy to someone that they may or have wronged, such as this crime which is a MAJOR sin, but also a crime which the person has to be held accountable for, and for justice.

People need to emphasize on that and understand that.

It's not about someone insulting someone because of their looks, or because they didn't properly put the shoes on the shoe rack, or put the toilet seat down, or missed a smuge on the floor, or missed a dirt dust bunny in the corner.
This isn't about a person forgetting to remember a person's birthday or anniversary, or pick them up from their work, or get gas for the car. Or pick up the milk, bread, and eggs from the grocery store.
This isn't about getting diapers from the pharmacy or medicine.

This isn't about someone comparing you to someone else, and asking you to be like that person.


It's about abuse, plain and simple. It's not something that we as Muslims should cover it up, and pretend it does not exist and say it is not happening in hopes that the victims aka survivors will just stop talking about it, no. It does exist.
We as Muslims, and as people should acknowledge that and recognize that there is a problem, a HUGE problem in which we have to take care and really try to stop people from repeating it.

I think if we truly want to help our younger generation from repeating the same cycle, we need to recognize this is a problem, realize it is one, acknowledge it, and try to find solutions to stop it. We can dig to the roots to see where it comes from, authority, insecurities, low self-esteem, repeated from genes, of generation to another.

Bottom line: You have a choice. You can steer into that direction and continue to abuse.

OR

You can stop it from overtaking you, and controlling you, rather than you controlling yourself and stop yourself from repeating it, or doing it period!


There are a lot of people that have had horrible lives, growing up in strict households and parents being overbearing. Some people having parents that were abusive to them as children, and growing up, and those parents will say, this was the same for them, and theirs as well so history repeated itself, from what they saw.

But, you seeing it, and realizing it's wrong, you can take notice of that and stop it from happening to you.

You can say well whatever happens, I did it because I turned out good and it made me stronger.

Still....abuse...that type...the symptoms...the belittlement...the insults....the comparism it doesn't work. In the long run, abuse, whether it's physical, emotional, verbal, mental, psychological, financial, economical, sexual.....all that is wrong. All that is a crime.

If you were to call up the police and tell them that you forgot to pick up the milk from the store, or that you forgot to put the toilet seat down, or forgot to take out the trash.
They'll ask you to not call them unless it's something serious.

These days the above is something serious for those that need it. But, it's not against the law, human law, islamic law, or just basic law. It's not a crime to forget to take the trash out. It's not a crime to forget to put the toilet seat down.

But, if you were to call them and say, "I've been sexually abusive to my family, I've been very physically abusive with them for years to the point that I've tried to choke the life out of them."

What do you think the police will do if they hear that? They'd want to ask the "surviviors,the victims" if we want to press charges. We have that choice, whether or not to do so. Again, it's a crime.

I feel in order for people to heal from being victims and surviviors as well as the abusers is to admit the problem, admit the abuse, don't deny it.
Get counseling, and start the process at healing.

And making a promise to yourself and to others that you have wronged that you will not allow yourself to lose control like that again.

You are bound to make mistakes, you are bound to lose your cool, you are bound to lose your temper and say things you might regret or will regret, you are bound to do that.
But.....

Recognize it...admit it when you're wrong.
apologize..... say it.... I'm sorry.

When you make a promise...keep it........Don't say. I promise and break it the next minute or pretend that you didn't make the promise, or that you don't remember. We remember, we know.
Don't lose that trust that people have in you, or faith, or patience because once you do, things get worse.

So......I hope this can be used for good purposes...
the purposes of we recognizing it....and getting the help.

Yes, I'm in counseling.
But, that does not stop me from saying....You know. if these ppl all helped one another, all these problems, crimes wouldn't be happening.

Because everything is hidden, and kept quiet, and people are hidden to feel ashamed, at fault, and their problem, and they did it, and deserved it, we feel alone, when we're not.

We are easily threatened and felt intimidated by these people who have such control and power over us, but it's sad. We really do not have to play the same game as them into giving into their demands. If they know they can easily, just easily say things to you to get you to keep it down. They will keep using it against you. But, if you say, you know. You can't say that to me.

I'm a human, I'm a person. I have my rights, in regular human law, and in Islam. This isn't right and you can't treat me this way, no matter what you think or say. It does not matter if you think or feel you have power and control. You do not, will not have it over me. You might have in the past. But, no more. Because enough is enough.